Defending AMD FX: A Losing Battle.

So, since yesterday's release of AMD FX CPUs, including the FX-8150 Octo-core, there's been many discussions online, referencing benchmarks, value, quality, and performance. As can be expected, there are actually still some fanboys dumb enough to think they have a chance of defending these piles of shit. So, in interest of... fairness, I've decided to discuss some of the... reasoning.

Excuse 1: It's not technically an 8 core CPU blah de blah.
As much as I normally love being technically accurate, there is such a thing as having shit for brains, and this excuse shows us the people who do. AMD advertised FX-8150 as an 8 core CPU, why shouldn't I judge threaded performance by the standard of 8 cores? Are you accusing the company you love of fraudulent advertising?

Excuse 2: It's really only intended to be a server architecture though!
Sorry, comes down to the same damn thing. AMD spent a fortune sponsoring IGN Proleague and shoving their AMD FX ads down our throats, trying to convince people that an 8 core CPU was good for gaming. You market it for gaming, you get benched in gaming performance. Not our fault it fell completely flat on it's face. Most people using Intel would prefer if AMD could compete, it would be awesome for CPU prices.

Excuse 3: Well, it's worse clock for clock, but it overclocks way higher!
Sadly, this means nothing to the vast majority of users. Why? Because, during testing, Anandtech found that the FX-8150 can only hit the same clocks on air as a 2500k or 2600k. It goes a bit higher on water, but quickly ends up needing extreme cooling. And sorry, the clock you could hit if you kept liquid nitrogen hanging around doesn't mean a whole lot if you don't.

Excuse 4: It isn't working well with Windows yet!
Yes, we know, you've burned that one into the ground. Unfortunately, the tasks it does the worst on are less threaded tasks, like gaming, where it has to try and compete with Phenom 2, the utterly obsolete predecessor. 

Excuse 5: But it does compete with Sandy Bridge on multi-threaded tasks!
And it wants a cookie, I assume? For the vast majority of consumers this means... oh yeah, nothing. AMD FX is replacing Phenom 2 in bad product placement, as the poorly priced, late to the game CPU that you might get if you really need physical cores and don't want to pay for better hardware that costs from slightly less to slightly more.

Excuse 6: All those benchmarks are biased, and not representative of anything.
On the second one, welcome to benchmarks, jackass. Find a good analog for performance that gets benched frequently, or bench things yourself. As for bias, I really doubt all the reviewers were so biased that they had a damn conference at some executive resort in the Swiss Alps just to plan out how BD would do on each test.

So, AMD Fanboys, for your tenacity in the face of logic, for your stubborn pride and arrogance in the face of benchmarks, and for your inability to listen to reason, I salute you. Someone has to keep AMD in business so Intel can't really monopolize the market.